Find Your Edge and Soften


By Marisol Rascon

What is at the edge of the fight?

Often when we investigate these edges we discover feelings of fear, anger, guilt, shame, regret, loneliness, or despair. The edge can be prickly and dark forcing us into our primal pulse wanting nothing more than to run far away from what makes us feel vulnerable. Survival instinct kicks in urging us to destroy whatever is in the way of our happiness. There is great beauty in learning to embody warrior energy in our lives, there is a valuable place for it, but it’s important to learn discernment between action and reaction.

Trungpa RInpoche said, “find your edge, and soften.”

I actually began practicing this approach in yoga class years ago after noticing that despite my intention of self care I was being really hard on myself. With my eyes shut I couldn’t distract myself from the inner voice telling me to push harder. I noticed that when my body was tight and I moved into a stretch that met resistance the disciplinary hard ass inside me would come around reminding me to fight and be strong. At first my programming was so ingrained that it was always about keeping up and taking charge of the moment and my body. I remembered this quote and with observation and brutal honesty I started to discover what the softening had to offer. I began to explore what it felt like to hold space for the pose and just linger at the edge a while. I learned about patience and how restless not taking charge made me feel. Most importantly I learned how powerful soft can be and how just being can also be an action.

Just like our body signals resistance our mind often sends us those messages too. We can try asking ourselves “what is at the edge here?” and take a moment to reflect. This question can lead to big insights and healing if we explore it with kindness. Becoming aware of the uncomfortable border that divides disappointments with opportunity, illness with potential, heartache with spaciousness requires returning your attention to the present.

I have found that the truth is intimately linked to the edge. When you take a pause for the inquiry of what’s here now, that’s when things start to get real. Let’s be honest, staying in our safety zone whether lingering in the familiar or blasting through resistance, it’s a lot easier than voluntarily hanging out vulnerably and soft with our shadow. Yet I can assure you that in the land of polarity each side with its allure; the casual acceptance on one side and the warrior effort on the other, it isn’t until you settle into the undiscriminating void that you find yourself blessed with the veil of truth.

I encourage you to take a moment to explore that, feel the truth behind the action. What have you discovered in the stillness of the unknown?